Thursday, November 23, 2006

But the Red Lights are SOOOOO PRETTY!

Well, Happy Thanksgiving. Today I am thankful for Bill, Henry, all my loved ones, and that we didn't burn down the house last night. I'm also thankful for the local fire department who came out awfully damn fast.

However, I am not very thankful for the local plumbing and heating people who have not responded at all to our calls that our hot water heater was busted and needed to be replaced. Maybe now that it sparked into flame at 10:30 at night the eve of Thanksgiving will give us some more leverage. Sorry we're not a McMansion needing full expensive installation, but I haven't had a shower in three days and I'm getting testy.

Blessings on you all. Keep warm and clean.



Saturday, November 18, 2006

News from the Incredible Hulk

Today we have a guest blogger. I'm just taking dictation, so be warned:

"Today I have been crashing and banging. I've been crashing and banging rocks and houses cause I'm angry. I've been angry because when Bruce Banner is angry, he turns into Hulk. The gamma bomb made me angry because it makes me into Hulk. I talked to an angel, the angel said 'why do you look like the Hulk?' And I said, 'Because of the gamma bomb.'

"The angel could fly and she had a candle in her hands. Also the angel had a hundred toys. Toys like... a lot of Wonder Woman toys and Batgirl toys and superhero girl toys. That's because she's a girl. Angels like toys.

"Being the Hulk makes me feel very strong. That's all. Just very strong. And very mad. One more thing: I fighted a ghost and Dracula, and a skeleton, and I fighted Iron Man. And I fighted in a haunted house. And I fighted a humongous werewolf and humongous bugs. And a humongous, very hungry gorilla, and I beat all of those and that's the end of the story. Are you making a book of this? Actually, the Hulk fighted Sauron, and Sauron showed his butt. Can my dad make a movie of that?"

So works the mind of a five-year-old who found a package of green makeup Momma forgot she had when she was dressing as a witch for Halloween.

I'm sure there will be more from our guest speaker now that he knows that I can type as fast as he can talk.



Sunday, November 05, 2006


Costume count: Three.
Final Decision: Vampire (again)
Total Number Trick or Treaters: 120
H's current ratio of total organic internal body fluid to sugar: 20:80

Final Halloween 2006 rating: 9 out of 10 (someone gave him raisinets and that skewed it)



(He had been wearing his vampire teeth all night, and consequently drooled the chin makeup off)