Saturday, February 24, 2007
Well, the boys both have tremendous head colds. The H-Bomb is doing okay, because he doesn't really have any comprehension of what "being sick" is. He's really boogie, has a headache, and his face is all chapped. Otherwise, he says he's fine.
Bill, well, he's suffering. Headache, cough, lots of boogers, run down, achy... the works. He sounds awful. Can't sleep, etc. So, in a state of mercy, I went to Wal-Mart to get him some meds.
So, let's have a chat about Sudafed. It's the only thing that works. Quite frankly, the pseudo-Sudafed they're selling now over the counter is utterly useless. Bill's been taking it all week, and he's as stuffed up as he ever was. I have allergies. The kind that manifest in sinus headaches, post nasal drip and non-stop congestion. I take Allegra-D, but it's an expensive prescription. Works really well.
This morning, I went into Wal-Mart. Quite frankly, I think it's probably a hell of a lot easier to buy a gun there than Sudafed. I went up to the pharmacy counter (because the hard stuff is not available on store shelves anymore), and told the woman I wanted the Tylenol Severe Cold and Cough tablets (non-drowsy daytime) and a bottle of the store brand Nyquil (with actual Sudafed in it). They only had that in a tw0-bottle value pack. I said fine, thinking that one bottle upstairs and one bottle downstairs would cut down on the inevitable ransacking the house in the middle of the night with no glasses on, stepping on Ben 10 toys barefoot part of being sick.
The lady asked me if I'd ever bought Sudafed there before. "Yes, but it was before it was moved behind the pharmacy counter."
"I'm going to need to see your ID." They don't even card me in the state liquor store anymore. ID?? She then entered about three pages worth of data into the computer system, and commented that "they may not even let you buy this much stuff," indicating the two bottles of Nyquil and the Tylenol Cold and Cough. Even though one is clearly for nighttime, and the other clearly marked for daytime. After about 5 or 10 minutes of her punching info into the computer, I had to sign a document stating that I was aware I was buying products with pseudeoephedrine in it, and that I was aware of the liabilities, blah blah blah.
I looked at the woman and said, "You know, in New Zealand, you can buy Tylenol with codeine over the counter." She said her husband had been to France, and there they have way more over the counter options. After signing twice and paying at the pharmacy counter, I went straight to the paper product aisle and bought a ton of Kleenex. I hope store security saw that.
MY HUSBAND HAS A HEAD COLD!! HE'S STUFFED UP!! HE NEEDS SUDAFED!! I'M NOT MAKING METH IN MY BASEMENT, I SWEAR!! SMELL MY CLOTHES, DO A CHEMICAL TEST!! NO METH!
What a world we live in. The picture shows my barely-legal contraband, and all the stuff I'm going to bring with me next time I buy Sudafed at Wal-Mart. Passport, birth certificate, license, immunization records, I've got to remember to also get a note from my mom and three character references, just in case.